Feeling shame in PTSD- A common effect

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By Aayushi Bagga

 

A very common feeling people go through after a traumatic incident is a shame. Shame can lower an individual’s self-esteem, and make one feel isolated and even depressed. If an individual is feeling guilt or shame after experiencing something traumatic, let me assure you, there are ways to heal from it.

 

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD brings out an entire range of negative emotions like fear, anxiety, sadness, and anger in people. Feeling these emotions are completely normal and justified for someone who went through a traumatic event and likely will eventually begin to fade as the survivor of PTSD heals. However, it has been noticed that there is one emotion that creeps up after a while and also makes the recovery process slower- SHAME.
If a traumatic event has provoked PTSD in a person, it will cause deep-rooted feelings of shame that will foster in this person. However, shame may not be present from the beginning and might take time to build.

 

Understanding Shame

 

Shame is an emotion one experiences when one judges themselves in a negative light. This emotion is a destructive one anyone can face in their life, and shame may exist in one for no real purpose. When someone feels shame, they are hurting themselves on the inside and blaming themselves for events that caused the PTSD. Having shame can damage an individual’s self-image and worth in a way no other emotion can. It makes one feel they are unlovable, worthless, bad, and even useless.
Some suffering from PTSD may even try and push out the memories of the traumatic event from their mind by engaging/distracting themselves in work and hobbies.

 

Shame and PTSD

 

Extensive research has shown a strong association between shame and someone suffering from PTSD. Shame has been seen more in certain types of trauma like sexual violence, childhood abuse, partner abuse, veterans who were prisoners in war, etc. The reason why these are more likely to feel shame is that each of these is dehumanizing and humiliating in nature. A perfect recipe for shame.
If one starts experiencing shame, they will go down the road of self-destructive behaviors, self-blame, and self-neglect that could also link to suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Once this has been formulated, it can be very challenging to get out of.

 

Some sufferers of PTSD shame may retreat from their surroundings, not allowing anyone to help them get better. This feels like a dead-end road, but it is very much possible to recover from the shame by restructuring your thinking and reaching your PTSD recovery goals.

 

How can you reduce shame

 

With the help of your psychologist, pharmacological therapies, and special intervention, it is possible to overcome PTSD. I understand that PTSD can be limiting, but you can heal from it with the right kind of help. Let us look at some ways that could help one deal with shame.

 

Compassion: There is a lot of evidence that self-compassion is helpful in reducing the effects of shame. Using it in the right way can be an effective tool for self-criticism, which is the number one characteristic of those who feel shame. How? Compassion allows individuals with post-traumatic stress disorder to develop trust and feel connected and calm with themselves. The help of a therapist and counseling is important as they can help sufferers of PTSD and shame develop healthy strategies to foster compassion, kindness, love, and empathy towards themselves.

 

Distractions: Haven’t we all tried distracting ourselves from distressing situations to feel better? Distracting oneself from negative thoughts can help sufferers of PTSD be mindful and in control of their emotions and feelings. When you distract yourself from feelings of shame, you are training your mind to stop focusing on negative feelings and wreaking havoc in your mind. Every time you see shame rising, you can be mindful and have healthy coping strategies at your disposal- play your favorite music, go for a walk or run, meet a friend or call them. Doing what you love will help you feel calm and also stop your mind from entering a dark place.

 

Identifying and recognizing your triggers

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: Shame might, more often than a lot, emerge when you are at your most vulnerable, and especially for a sufferer of PTSD, it could be triggers that take them back to the traumatic incident. One of the big reasons is that insecurities are a major component for people to feel shame. So, it could be helpful to know the shame triggers so that you can learn to avoid them or learn effective coping mechanisms to deal with them every time they happen.

 

While on the other hand, some people deal with their feelings by trying not to feel anything at all, which is known as emotional numbing. This might lead a person to become isolated or withdrawn and may give up on their hobbies or activities they used to enjoy doing once.

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